where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
