did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize