Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
my liver is dry heaving
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.