Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
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Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
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Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.