i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.