yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
