Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.