So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
