My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
