Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
