Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
