i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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