How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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