He had one of those small greek statue penises
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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