Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.

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  (202): God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now. http://tfl.nu/vtz7
  Replies (20) Good night (2865) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!

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  (740): at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!! http://tfl.nu/mp48
  Replies (72) Good night (3423) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.

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  (304): I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough. http://tfl.nu/4w8d
  Replies (11) Good night (1214) Bad night (3657)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.

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  (480): Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like. http://tfl.nu/rdz5
  Replies (15) Good night (874) Bad night (4300)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.

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  (509): Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad. http://tfl.nu/dn7l
  Replies (11) Good night (2178) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."

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  (406): I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works." http://tfl.nu/3ym3
  Replies (8) Good night (3818) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.

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  (613): No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/2rsl
  Replies (6) Good night (1717) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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  (708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty
  Replies (9) Good night (648) Bad night (1824)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.

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  (419): HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU. http://tfl.nu/87a2
  Replies (4) Good night (2342) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you

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  (641): Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you http://tfl.nu/x1rz
  Replies (5) Good night (1480) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening

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  (321): I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening http://tfl.nu/wlci
  Replies (4) Good night (1392) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.

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  (775): Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me. http://tfl.nu/b0yd
  Replies (4) Good night (447) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.

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  (214): I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7. http://tfl.nu/9u2f
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture

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  (404): I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture http://tfl.nu/cii9
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg

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  (813): Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg http://tfl.nu/yllz
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (183)

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