we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
