Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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