you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
