also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
