I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize