Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
