He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
