"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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