We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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