How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
