i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
