I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so let's talk penis.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
