I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
