hell yes lets make some ravioli
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
