I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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