Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
