think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I will die if light touches me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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