just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
In other news, I just burned my penis
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
