but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
