Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
