my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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