i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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