I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
