we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
