I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
and she was petting her beer can
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
