East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
