what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
