we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
