So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
