I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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