Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize