How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
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i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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