after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
