Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Hippo gnu deer
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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