i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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