discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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