Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize