We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
