wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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