So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
