I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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