It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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