Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
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She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
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How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro