Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana