If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.