Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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