her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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