Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
