you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
