Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
