Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
All I want is dick and wine.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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