hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
