Only a mothe r could love this liver
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
