My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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