I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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