I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
