I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
