so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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