He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
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How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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