She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
