Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
