I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
