I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
