Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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