Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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