OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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